Some Times Are Hard

It's late. I should be sleeping or attempting to sleep. But things are on my mind.

Life has been hard the last few weeks. It's not bad, just hard. Leaving my family, friends, job, house, weather, mountains, the things I'm used to... I'm trying to keep a good attitude here in MN, in fact I'm enjoying new friends and fun things to do. But there's just something so hard about change, about differences.

The first Sunday we were in MN, while I was getting ready for church, there were two songs that got me all mushy/holdback tears/emotional whoa-ness. The first was Josh Groban's "You raise me up so I can stand on mountains...." In my head I thought, "Oh my heck... I miss the mountains... I love this song... it reminds me of Brock... I miss my family... I hope people like me at church."

Well the very next song that came on Pandora was the LDS hymn that goes "As I have loved you, love one another... by this shall man know, ye are my disciples if ye have love one to another." It reminded me that God loves me and my family, and hasn't stopped watching over us. I need to keep on living His gospel and not give up even though things are hard right now.

So, on top of those two songs making me feel like, "I know, I know I need to have a good attitude and be happy that we are on this new adventure..." the prior night (the first night we slept in our townhouse) Brock accidentally pulled up this talk by Neal A. Maxwell (an Apostle and previous Quorum of the Twelve member).

OK. Time out. Read/listen/watch the talk. Yeah. Spiritual punch in the face of awesome, totally needed, exactly for me kind of words. The talk is called, "Willing to Submit". Here is the one quote from his talk that I think sums up how I took it:

Just as the capacity to defer gratification is a sign of real maturity, likewise the willingness to wait for deferred explanation is a sign of real faith and of trust spread over time.

His talk is about spiritual submissiveness and how we need to continually submit our will to Heavenly Father and trust in him. I feel like that quote about was such a great message for me and has really helped me over the past week to hang on and know that there is a wonderful, smile envoking reason that Brock, Blakely and I are here in Minnesota.

Well. I'm trying to not be up too late. So I'll end here. But there are my thoughts. Maybe they will leave me in peace so I can sleep. We are going to the lake tomorrow!!